


All Fall Down

by EmilyweepsforPilfrey



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: 12 is not okay, Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, I made her cry again I'm sorry, Post Empress of Mars, This is probably about as joyful as the finale will be, mentions of the piano sex they're definitely having, vault era
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-12
Updated: 2017-09-03
Packaged: 2018-11-13 05:50:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11178372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmilyweepsforPilfrey/pseuds/EmilyweepsforPilfrey
Summary: When they get back to the vault, Missy asks him again if he is alright. He answers her this time. Truthfully.





	1. Chapter 1

“I’ll ask again Doctor,” Missy said abruptly when he returned her to the vault. “Are you alright?”

He took a moment before he spoke again.

“Of course. I’m fine.”

He punctuated his words with a grin, but she saw right through it.

“Don’t lie to me, Doctor,” she accused as she strode over to him. “You’re anything but fine.”

She gave him a moment to confess, searching his eyes for the truth. He declined the opportunity and remained silent. He’d said all he wanted to say. He’d shared so much with her over the past few decades, he’d let her in, but he couldn’t share this with her. He didn’t want to put this on her.

“You’re lying to me, Doctor,” she stated. She knew him better than anyone else in the universe; she knew when he was lying. “You’re dying.”

She could see his shoulders fall as the weight of her words washed over him. He didn’t say anything. What could he say?

“Oh. You are dying. I hoped you’d prove me wrong.”

Her words hung in the air between them, her cavalier tone a contrast to what she had said.

“Well, go on then. Regenerate. I’ll wait. I suppose I’ll miss this face, but I’ll deal with it. If you concentrate hard enough, you might be able to become a Time Lady like me.”

“I can’t.”

“Nonsense. It’s not that hard. Even you could do it. See the trick is, once the regeneration starts, focus really hard on the breasts and then the rest takes care of itself. I can provide a visual if you need some help.”

She started to undo the buttons on her jacket only to be stopped when he covered her hands with his own. She looked up at him in confusion, eyes wide like a puppy who got told off for doing something clever.

“I can’t regenerate.”

The words were harder to get out than he thought they would be.

“Oh.”

“I tried. I got a friend to… trigger it, but I couldn’t do it. This body is the end of the road for me I’m afraid.”

“ _Doctor_.” She let his name hang in the air for a moment – she knew how much he loved to hear her say it – then she finished with an abrupt “no.”

She didn’t accept his conclusion.

“Missy,” he pleaded, an exhausted request from a dying man. He didn’t know what he was asking her for. Maybe it was for her to not take advantage of him. Maybe it was for her to tell him it would be okay. Maybe it was for her help. He really didn’t know. “Missy, please.”

But Missy seemed to know what he needed. She took a hold of his biceps and sat him down in a nearby chair, climbing onto his lap once he was seated.

“Oh Doctor,” she sighed, softly caressing his cheek. “Who do I have to kill?”

He sat up abruptly, nearly dislodging her.

“Why would you have to kill anyone?” he asked, flustered by the question.

“Because they’ve killed you, silly,” she replied as if this was obvious. “I won’t let anyone get away with doing that to you.”

“No one’s killed me,” he replied a little too quickly. “I am responsible for this. It’s my fault.”

“Liar.”

He didn’t argue with her.

“Someone is responsible for this and they will pay,” Missy retorted. “So tell me who so did this so I can make them regret ever laying a finger on you.”

He remained silent, deliberately avoiding her gaze. He didn’t try to talk her out of it like she expected him to. He wasn’t going to give her a name.

“Oh, I see,” she said, her face falling as her hearts started to crack. “It was me.”

She moved to stand up, but he wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her back into him. She had to know that he didn’t blame her.

“So how did I do it?” she asked, trying and failing to keep her voice from shaking. “Was our time on top of the piano too much for you?”

Her joke fell flat and they both knew it. The Doctor could see her distress increasing with each passing moment. He was dying, but it was killing her that she had unknowingly caused it. She needed to know what she had done. He could see it again, the tears welling up in her eyes. He kissed her swiftly before they could fall, winding his fingers into her tangled hair.

“Doctor,” she murmured in a small voice when he pulled away. It wasn’t supposed to hurt like this.

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly before he spoke again.

“When you were sentenced to death, when I saved you, I didn’t just disconnect the wiring. I had to send the charge somewhere. I had to reroute it back to me. Luckily, with your grand performance, no one noticed that I was the one who got shocked. My body is fighting it, but it’s only a matter of time – one thousand years minus a few decades.”

“Oh Doctor,” she sighed, “you sacrificed yourself to save me?”

“Of course,” he replied as if it was obvious and how dare anyone question his loyalty to her. “You’re my friend – my best friend. The closest friend I’ve ever had. ”

His actions said more than his words, but she appreciated the words all the same. She hoped he knew that.

Missy tucked her head into the crook of the Doctor’s neck and lay her hand on his chest, fingers splayed over one of his dying hearts.

He felt a teardrop on his collarbone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor becomes the patient and Missy tries to make him all better.

He stood with his back to the vault door, arms spread and palms flat against the wood.  

"I'm dying, Missy. I've been dying before but never like this. I've no regeneration energy left – I've been milked dry – and I can feel my life leaving me. Slowly, agonisingly slow. Oh, it's so slow, Missy and it hurts. Will you be there with me at the end? I don't know if I can stand to see the look on your face as I die, I don't want to hurt you like that, but I can't do this without you. So I'm asking you Missy, I'm begging you, I'm asking you more than I have any right to: will you be there with me whe-"  

The Doctor was cut off abruptly as the door disappeared from behind him and he fell backwards, arms pinwheeling. He managed to right himself just before he fell flat on his back and turned to see Missy standing by the open door, one hand on the door and the other on her hip.  

"Are you quite done, Doctor?" she asked.  

He stared back at her, dumbfounded, mouth open in shock.  

"I've listened to this for the past week, Doctor, and I know you like a good angsty pity fest. We all know that, but it is time for someone to tell you that enough is enough. You do realise you don't actually have to die, right?"  

"No, Missy, you see I'm dying, that's the point," he replied, a little insulted by her cavalier attitude.  

She rolled her eyes. "Doctor, you're a clever man – not as clever as me, but clever enough. Dying is optional; it's for other people, people who aren't us."  

"Not this time. I'm out of regeneration energy. They've taken it all. You heard what they said about the contraption. It was designed to permanently kill a Time Lord."  

"Oh, Doctor. Rule number one: never agree to be killed by anything unless you know what it's going to do to you - you could do with remembering that. You don't need to be so dramatic. Some of us do our research before turning up at an execution. Their silly little Time-Lord-killing-machine just steals your regeneration energy."  

"Exactly." 

"So get more."  

"It's regeneration energy! It doesn't grow on trees. I can't just pop off down to the shops and pick up some more."  

"Oh, Doctor, you're so dramatic. It's not that hard to come by. I always find plenty of it when I need it. Here, take some of mine. You can have it all if you like."  

A look of shock and adoration crossed his face as his resistance left him. "You would do that for me? You would give me your future regenerations."  

"Oh, Doctor," she sighed, "when are you going to realise that I would do anything for you?"  

"Missy," he started, unsure what he could say that could even come close to matching what she had just confessed.  

"Shall we get started now?" Missy interrupted, trying to pull them back from the emotional cliff they seemed to have walked off. "Unless you'd rather angst out about dying for a little longer."  

The Doctor shook his head. "No, I'm ready now if you're sure about this."  

"Oh stop being so dramatic, Doctor, I'll just find some more regeneration energy later like I always do."  

"As long as you're absolutely sure. I don't want to take your lives."  

She rolled her eyes at his blatant misunderstanding of her modus operandi. She always found a way to come back.   

"Onto the bed. Now."  

He obeyed, crossing the room as she closed the door behind him before following him to where the bare bed stood.  

With her hands on his shoulders, she pushed him down until he was sitting on the bed and waited as he kicked off his shoes and brought his legs up onto the mattress. Once he was settled, she swung her leg over so she was straddling him. There would be some pain in the procedure on her part. Best to get comfy.  

Without giving him a chance to back out – he was just too damn noble sometimes – she took his hands, lacing their fingers together. She leaned in slowly for a soft brush of her lips against his before she pulled back to meet his gaze.  

"That's not part of the regeneration transfer," he murmured softly.  

_Oh hush, Doctor_  she thought.  

With that, she focused all her thoughts on bringing up her regeneration energy, sending it through her fingertips to his. Her hands glowed and her eyes lit up as she watched the golden energy flowing into his body.  

He could feel it racing into his body. It was almost like he was regenerating himself, but without the horrible contorting and shrinking and growing that usually accompanied it. He felt energetic and alive, his hearts racing fast. He didn't think he'd ever felt anything so good.  

There was something distinctly Missy in the energy. He could feel it. It was a little bit wicked, a little naughty. He wondered if that might change him somehow. Would he become more like her? Somehow, with her regeneration energy seeping into him and her staring deep into his eyes like she could see deep inside him, he felt that this was the most intimate experience he had shared with her.  

It was working. He could feel it healing his dying body. Bit by bit, he felt his extremities gain new life as the energy pulsed through him, making its way towards his hearts where it could complete the process of healing him.  

Yes, it hurt her. It was like Missy was bleeding herself dry. The could feel it draining her, taking from her and giving to him. But she'd do it and she'd do it all again if it meant saving her friend.  

Then, all of a sudden, it stopped. Missy fell back with a look of shock on her face.  

"That wasn't supposed to happen."  

The Doctor's hearts fell because he could feel it. His arms and legs had new life, but his heartbeats were still numbered. It hadn't worked.  

"It wasn't enough," he spoke aloud and it killed him to say it because she was enough, damn it. The Master had always been enough for him even if he'd had trouble acknowledging it in the past  

"Oh," Missy said, her extreme disappointment and sorrow too much to be kept out of her voice. "I must not have enough left."  

He wanted to say something to shift the heartbroken look from her face, to thank her and tell her that he appreciated all she'd given him. She'd given him all of her and it still wasn't enough.  

"I'm sorry, Doctor," she said as she climbed off him and sat back against the headboard next to him. I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help."  

He reached out and took her hand, gently stroking the back of her hand with his thumb. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor confesses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, initially, this started out as my attempt at predicting the finale. In hindsight, I was way off. I figured I may as well finish it anyway. I think, at this point, it's most definitely AU.

“Why do you keep me here, Doctor?” Missy asked as she sat back against the cold metal bedframe.

The Doctor lay with his head in her lap, peacefully dozing while she stroked his soft, fluffy hair. She was a little exhausted after the failed attempt at transferring her regeneration energy to him and he was still dying. They'd both earned their rest. 

He was silent for a moment, toying with a loose thread on his jumper. 

"Three reasons," he eventually said. 

She waited for him to continue. 

"I made a vow." 

"You've broken promises before, Doctor," she stated, unable to keep the hurt out of her words. 

"Never when it came to you," he said, knowing as he said it that it was a lie. She gave him a look of disbelief. 

"Well, never if I could help it. I never intended to let you down." 

She decided to let it go in the interests of keeping the peace. Fighting with him would ruin the moment. 

"The second reason," he continued, "Is something that I think I can share with you now." 

"Well go on," Missy prompted. "Don't keep me in suspense any longer." 

"I want you to take care of the universe for me. I've put a lot of work into it." 

"Oh." Missy was taken aback. Never in her wildest dreams had she expected something like this. 

"I wanted to make sure that you could do it, that you could be good." 

"Doctor, that's a very large responsibility," she said. It was a sign of how much she'd grown that she didn't immediately jump at the chance to essentially be handed the universe. 

"And I believe you can handle it," he responded truthfully, "if you'll accept it, of course." 

She remained silent. It was a big decision, accepting the weight of the universe on her shoulders. It wasn't just the size of the gift, it was that the Doctor trusted her to look after it in a way which aligned with his moral code. Even while on her best behaviour, her idea of morality was still vastly different to that of the Doctor. If she stuffed up, accidently got a couple planets worth of people killed, she wouldn't just be affecting the universe, she'd be failing the Doctor's memory. That was infinitely worse. 

"I don't think you'd like all the decisions I would make, Doctor," she said reluctantly. She didn't want to disappoint him. 

They needed each other, the Master and the Doctor. They balanced each other out, like yin and yang. Without the Doctor, the Master could forget that things mattered, that she wasn't the only one who could experience loss. And the Master kept the Doctor from getting too morally righteous; even he could be wrong. They reminded each other that life wasn't so black and white. Together, they were grey. 

"I trust you to do what you think is right." 

His belief in her meant a lot to her. But it was overwhelming. Her hearts felt too full and she was getting those pesky tear things in the corner of her eyes again. She loved that man and nothing made her feel more loved in return than his faith in her. 

"Does that mean I'm not your prisoner anymore?" She asked, hastily wiping away the moisture from her eyes. "Am I allowed to leave." 

The Doctor tilted his head back to look up at her, trying to see if that was what she really wanted. 

"You've never been a prisoner here," he said. "You've always been free to leave. I hoped you would choose to stay with me." 

Missy stood up abruptly. The Doctor was pushed onto the mattress. 

She was leaving walking swiftly towards the door. She didn't look back. 

"Missy." 

She stopped. He could see her shoulders rise and fall as she took a deep breath. She turned to face him. 

"Is this really what you want?" He asked, hurt and disappointment audible in his words. 

She stood in limbo, one foot in the door and one foot out the door. 

"What was the third reason, Doctor. You said there were three." 

The Doctor sighed and stood, walking over to her with steely determination. 

"I'm dying Missy. I've got a thousand years left, minus a few decades. If that's all the time I have left, I want to spend it with you. If these are my last days and I don't want to pass a single one without seeing you. My time is ending, but I want to share the last of it with you." 

A fleeting look of torment crossed over her face, barely perceptible, but he caught it. 

"I have to go," she said. 

And with that, she turned and walked out of the vault, leaving the Doctor alone to languish in her rejection. 


End file.
